Mother,

Today there was an article in the paper about how support for Bush by older voters had fallen to an all-time low—40%.

Why? It’s very simple. His economic policies have decimated their retirement portfolios. Old people don’t like what’s happening in Iraq any more than younger ones do. And they don’t like the deficits that his policies has created, as far as the eye can see.

So, if you decide not to vote for George W. in 2004, you’ll not only be in good company, you’ll be in the majority.

Think about it.

Bob

An instrument for measuring the rain that falls; a rain gauge.

Mother,

You’ve been given an easy way to think about how you feel about George W. Bush’s foreign policy, and especially our actions in Iraq.

If one of your grandchildren was killed there, could you tell yourself honestly that they died for the cause of freedom and justice?

That’s all. That’s the only question you need to answer.

Think about it.
—Bob

Bob’s garlic soup is quite simple. Roast a whole bunch of garlic; I usually do about eight heads; plan on about two heads per small serving. The roasting process involves chopping off the upper 20% of each head, drizzling them with olive oil, and sticking them in the oven for an hour or so. The result should be very soft cloves that can be plucked out of their covers with a toothpick, or even squeezed out if you’re in that kind of mood.

Stick the roasted garlic cloves in the blender with your choice of liquid—any combination of water, milk, any type of soup stock, or even whiskey will do the trick. Blend until very smooth. I usually put the result through a sieve of some sort to remove any remaining large pieces which may be better. Warm up the soup on the stove, adding cream if you prefer. Taste the soup. I’ve experimented with adding honey if the soup tastes too bitter.

Serve, garnished with a sprig of marjoram.

If made correctly, this soup will cleanse your entire gastro-intestinal system. The cleansing period may extend to several hours, and it is highly probable that it will be noticed, and commented on, by anyone in close physical proximity.

The study of heritable changes in gene function, stemming from environmental effects, that occur without a change in the DNA sequence.

Bush’s one-hour interview with Brit Hume on Fox yesterday gave the the Democrats better advertising than they could have hoped for. The only thing Bush managed to accomplish was to respond to each question with one of his four available emotions: arrogance, cluelessness, feigned indifference, and faux dignity. The low point came when Bush compared himself to Lincoln. I think the average high-school civics student has a better idea of the roles and responsibilities of the Presidency that George does. One can only hope that any further damage he does to our economy, foreign policy, and environment can be held to a minimum for the next 18 months until General Clark is elected. Amazingly, a recent poll showed Clark leading Bush by three percentage points in a head-to-head matchup. Maybe the American people deserve a bit more credit than I thought.

A stupid or lethargic person.

Walking around the streets of Tokyo, I gradually became aware of a traffic sound—that was missing. Honking horns. You virtually never hear horns anywhere in Japan. It’s against the law, except when necessary to alert someone to danger. More simply, it’s against common sense, and unnecesary.

Contrast that to Los Angeles where the car ahead of you slowing down a bit, a car pulling into traffic 100 yards ahead of you, or someone changing lanes in front of you, someone trying to parallel park, or virtually any other perceived offense is considered valid grounds for a good lean on the horn. It’s not about alerting anyone—it’s about letting off steam, and auditorily punishing people.

Let’s outlaw honking horns. Of course, our democracy is too broken to actually do something this reasonable. I guarantee opponents of such a move would cite the First Amendment in their diatribes.

A mathematics learning disability. The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals used this word in their opinion postponing the gubernatorial recall election, applying it to the voiting machines themselves! C.f. dyslexia. Dyscalculia web site is here..

Here’s an excerpt from the ruling:

In this case, plaintiffs allege that the fundamental right to have votes counted in the special recall election is infringed because the pre-scored punchcard voting systems used in some California counties are intractably afflicted with technologic dyscalculia.

The gay marriage discussion has taken an odd turn. Other than the most ardent homophobes, most people seem to agree with the idea of some kind of rights for gay couples, if only the right to be at someone’s bedside in the hospital; the discussion is around how broad these rights should be. But after the Supreme Court’s decision striking down the Georgia anti-sodomy law, even some people who support broad rights for gay couples went out of their way to make the case that whatever a gay couple’s relationship is, it is not marriage, because that is something between a man and a woman, and focused, as one of the Democratic presidential candidates said, on having babies and raising them.

That’s sort of weird though. We let people get married who we know can’t have babies, or who may have already decided never to have babies. And gay people can and do have babies too and those babies need a family unit. But I digress.

In any case, at this point, it almost seems to boil down to semantics. These people seem to be saying that you could have an institutionally defined relationship between gay couples which was even in all respects identical to marriage—but just don’t call it marriage. Then what to call it? You heard it here first: Bob’s neologism for gay marriage, which is gayriage. I think this catching on is just a matter of time!

When gayriage is implemented, though, let’s take the opportunity to make one major change from marriage—make it for five-year renewable terms. This is an old idea of mine which I was flattered to see in the book Against Love, although there the proposed term was one year—far too short in my opinion. Anyway, once we have experience with the how renewable terms work in gayriage, maybe we can then back-fit them into marriage!